HokiePundit

HokiePundit is a Dweeb

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Evil Questionnaire

1. If you were eat a baby, how would you cook it?
I like smoked turkey a lot, so that would probably be my choice.

2. If you were to exterminate any ethnic group or nationality, what would it be?
As much as the French and Palestinians try and provoke sometimes, I'm going to have to say "Wahoos."

3. What is the best way to punish a disobedient spouse?
What, they have to be disobedient first?

4. After conquering your enemies, do you put their women and children to the sword first or burn their crops and salt the earth first?
Burn the crops and salt the earth. What, like I'm going to ruin a countryside without temporary slaves?

5. Favorite torture device/method:
Having girls flirt with guys and then say "maybe" when asked out. My enemies will beg for death.

6. Most evil person I admire:
I was always a fan of the Man With No Name from the "Dollars" trilogy.

7. Most evil thing I've laughed at:
Dead Baby jokes.

8. Most evil thing I've tried to logically justify:
Atheism. It didn't work so well.

9. Favorite dictator responsible for the deaths of > 1 million people.
Stalin. The quote "quantity has a quality all of its own" in reference to his using his people as cannon fodder pushed him past Cyrus the Great of Persia.

10. Which secret police would you most like to join: The KGB, Gestapo, Stasi, Cong Ang, or Santebal?
Stasi. All the benefits of Sovietism without having to live in Russia!

11. A Jew, an African-American, an Irishman, a kindergartener, an Untouchable, and a battered woman are stuck with you on a desert island. Who do you eat first?
What kind of batter is the woman covered in?

12. If you were selling narcotics on an elementary school playground, would you sell cocaine or meth?
Cocaine. If the meth pipes break, the shards could hurt someone!

13. Which is a more satisfying sound: the crunch of a puppy's skull under your wheels, or his yelps as he bursts into flames?
I'm a big fan of crunches, actually.

(via Fearsome Pirate)

DISCLAIMER: Don't take this seriously. If it were meant to be taken seriously, I would've put "WVU fans" or "Pitt fans" in response to the second question.

Googled?

So this site is apparently #4 on Google for "Michael Vick Homosexuality." Fantastic.

To whomever it may concern: if the stories about him while he was here are true, then he is most certainly heterosexual.

HokiePundit: the Encylopaedia Britannica of Cyberspace

"Fool Me Once, Shame On You..."

...Fool me twice, and I'm a certain girl in Navs who got hosed again.

It was funny the first time, but I think it's even funnier now...

A Rousing Welcome For...

BehindTheNet, a Hokie blogger who can now be found under "Fighting Gobblers" in the Land O' Links! Among other excellent features, be sure to check out his Anatomy of a Cheap Trip. Once again, welcome!

Well, Duh!

It's apparently news to TS O'Rama that people view having something they've written included in his Spanning the Globe to Bring You the Constant Variety of Posts feature to be a great honor. As the title of this post says, duh! I have one friend who's also a blogger, and we congratulate each other whenever one of us makes The List. Who among bloggers doesn't eagerly read their comments boxes and check their referrer lists? So, hat's off to you, TS, for this service!

Today I Make My Resolution

I don't think I'm going to shop at Christian stores anymore. Let me clarify: I have decided that I don't like those stores whose stock is designed for Christians, especially Evangelicals. Why? Two reasons.

Firstly, most "Christian culture" stuff is, simply, dreck. I can hardly ever bear listening to Christian radio stations, because most of the music is either whiny or preachy. The reason ska and rap are tolerable when done Christian is that they're actually better when they're whining or preaching. DC Talk was successful because they're a boy band, and it's hard to mess up pop music if you've got any talent (that's why it's called "pop"). There are also Christians who make good music in the secular market. However, too often the Christian industry seems to be where second-rate bands go. The same seems to go for Christian fiction. Leaving the eschatology aside, the Left Behind books look to be pretty awful. I skimmed through it, and kept seeing passages like "Dan's eyes blazed with intensity as he looked for a sign, any sign of newly-won conviction in the eyes of his friend Rayford." Besides being heavy-handed beyond belief, why can't they make up believable names? Rayford? It sounds like what my grandparents would name the hero in some '40s B-movie. Do people out West name their kids things like Dirk or Rayford? I'm just asking, because no one here ever seems to. Look, "Turkish" from Snatch was more believable than some of the names Christian writers come up with. As for Christian movies...I've seen Left Behind and The Omega Code, and let's just say that I was somewhat underwhelmed. Now, I'm fully aware of things like VeggieTales, but that seems to be more the exception than anything else. So, by supporting Christian stores, I'm supporting them as they sell this dreck. If no one were to sell it, no one would produce it, and all that talent could go to better uses.

However, the second reason is one that was mentioned by Fran Sciacca at the regional Navigators Fall Conference last year: the point where we lost our influence was when Christianity went from being a counter-culture to being a sub-culture. Instead of looking at products and evaluating them on their merits, we too-often simply look for Jesus-brand stuff. We need to be evaluating things on a "why" basis, rather than "what." I can get a Bible at Border's. Why should I get it at Lifeway? If music is good, then it'll be sold at Best Buy, not just the local Christian bookstore. By having our own industries, we're basically distancing ourselves from the rest of society, making it harder for us to interact. Now, I'm not saying we're to be slaves to the world, but when sojourning in an alien land, it's good to know the local customs and be friendly to the inhabitants. If all you've ever listened to has been Christian radio, all you've watched has been TBN, and you've only played in church leagues, what common ground do you have? When I mention Homer Simpson, Strong Bad, The Offspring, or Die Hard to people my age and get blank stares, I know there's a problem.

We Evangelicals have seriously gotten to the point where we're too-often tempted to hide in our shells. There are times when it's best to walk away or to listen to something more edifying, but when we put ourselves in our own ghetto, how are we ever going to connect with the rest of the world?

Conversation Snippet

Grandmother: "So, do you have any girlfriends at school?"
Me: "Plural?"
Parent: "He's not seeing anyone right now."
Grandmother: "He needs to go out and see the world..."
Me: (to Parent): "Am I being told to sow my wild oats?"
Parent: "Shh. She thinks differently than you."

Happy EarthDarth Day!

What I Do in My Spare Time

I like pranks.

Dare I Say...

Rope-a-Dope?

What Do You Get When You Cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros?

'el if I know...

Cross Movement

Do you know the difference between Luke 9:50 and the whole book of 1 John?

Memories...

You know, I miss Louder Fenn's blog, the newer version of which has disappeared from the web. On the other hand, Mark Butterworth came back after an absence of over a year, so I still hold out hope...

Gettin' Serious, Yo

I know I'm only twenty-one and that I'm not seeing anyone right now, but it occurred to me that I should start praying about my future wife. Now, it could be ten months or ten years (or more) before I'm ready to get married, but starting early can't hurt, and waiting too long can only lead to trouble. What I'm trying to do is lay down a foundation so I can be sure that the girl is really the person God intends for me to marry, and that I'm not just doing it out of lust, selfishness, loneliness, frustration, obliviousness, or any other impure motives. I'd been thinking a lot lately about what I'm looking for in a wife, and have started praying about it each night. Again, it'll probably be years before this is directly relevant, but just as the Day of the LORD will come like a thief in the night, I suspect that True Love sneaks up on people as well. I'm still working on clarifying exactly what it is that I'm asking God to provide, but I'll probably post a rough outline of my prayer in the coming days. For those who've prayed for wives, either before or after the fact, do you have any pointers for things especially worth asking for, especially those things a single guy like me might not anticipate?

Warning: Unpopular Opinions

I don't support the death penalty. I've got plenty of issues which I consider more important, but that's my view.

Without society, people who harm others would often be killed, either out of revenge or to prevent more injury. Thanks to civilization, we now have three options after capturing criminals: banishment, imprisonment, and execution. Banishment would be the ideal option in many cases, as it removes the criminal from society and obviates costs associated with the other options. However, due to the unwillingness of sane countries to accept rapists and murders, and occasionally due to the ability of criminals to harm us even when deported (traitors, for instance), this isn't always feasible. Thus, the next-most humane option is imprisonment, which is like banishment, but within our borders. However, it's not cheap, especially when things like cable TV are mandated and hard labor is forbidden. Thus, the person who has already harmed society continues to harm them by being a waste of their tax dollars. Lastly, there is the option of execution, which has the advantages of limiting costs and permanently removing the threat. However, costs associated with appeals can be far higher than imprisonment costs. Also, to execute someone is to deny that God has the ability to work in that person, and to place ourselves where God should be.

So, what is there to do? I have an idea, but I suspect that I'll be called a barbarian and have it pointed out to me that it isn't realistically possible. Fair enough. I think the ideal solution would be to establish prison colonies, preferably on remote islands. Here's how it works: there will be enough resources for survival, whether from the land or provided by the government. Beyond that, it's the law of the jungle. By committing a crime, you've decided that you do not wish to be bound by the laws of the United States, and therefore ought not to be. Society kept you from being killed; by rejecting society, it's now your own responsibility to make sure that the other inhabitants don't kill you (or brutalize you in other ways). After your sentence has been served, assuming you're still alive, you will be taken from exile and returned to society (there'd be some mechanism for making sure you weren't an absolute psychopath, hopefully). And, to ensure that you don't try to escape, there will be patrol boats and satellites to monitor the population.

But HokiePundit, isn't this a rejection of the idea that we are to love our neighbors? I don't think that it is. We can't force people to convert, whether it be to our faith or our laws. The most we can do by force is to keep their rebellious urges suppressed, either by carrots or by sticks. For people to become Christians, they have to believe that the Gospel is true and beneficial. Similarly, for people to voluntarily follow the law, they have to believe that it is in their best interests to do so.

Obviously, someone who is caught for speeding won't be sharing a hut with a serial murderer. Not all crimes require measures such as banishment or imprisonment. And, it would seem reasonable that there be different levels of banishment, with those who've been convicted of low-level felonies going to one place while hardened criminals are sent elsewhere.

Anyway, just a thought.

You Know...

A lot of Calvinists sometimes just don't see the humor in things. Oh well; it's not as though that's a sin or anything.

Whoa

The Fearsome Pirate is en fuego with this post on the Roman Catholic Church.

I think that anyone who's been reading my blog for a while and has a shred of sensibility know full well that I'm not anti-Rome. I do believe that they're mistaken on several issues, as are all the branches of Christianity with which I do not agree (duh). I think that the point where they really got into trouble was with this whole papal infallibility thing, as ex cathedra statements can't be revoked, and are embarrassing for them when they have to say that most of their clergy has been misinterpreting something for a while. Thus, though I do not agree with many of the Marian doctrines, I'm okay with other people believing them, since neither they nor I have any hard evidence. However, once it becomes dogma, then I am precluded from ever joining into communion with them. Similarly, I see no evidence for putting the Bishop of Rome above everyone else. I'm okay with the idea of him being "first among equals," like the Archbishop of Canterbury in the Anglican Communion, but I think anything beyond that is a misreading of Scripture.

Disclaimer

This blog and my faith are works-in-progress. If I said something last year, or even yesterday, that contradicts what I said before, consider the newer post to be the updated and authoritive version. I'm not about to go back and edit all my old posts, because that would take a lot of time and work, because I just might go right back to what I said there, and it's my blog and I'll do whatever I want (even unto pulling a ghastly April Fool's prank when it suits me). Nyah. I haven't had anyone point this out to me, but I figured it'd be better to have a disclaimer on record before these things start.

Duh, I Guess

I think it finally occurred to me what it is about the attitudes that rubs me the wrong way. In short, they're Fundamentalists. I'm not. I consider myself generally to be an Evangelical and a Catholic. Now, they may not believe in the literal interpretation of Scripture, but they're often awfully close. This, of course, is in marked contrast to the Liberals, who basically view the Bible as being more like guidelines, and not an actual code. I often feel as though I'm being asked to join in with the Fundamentalists, who do have a strong presence in many campus ministries and many of the newer Protestant churches, and the Liberals, who are powerful among the less-catechized Christians and the mainline Protestant churches. Well, I reject the influence of both. If it came down to it, I suspect I'd sojourn with the Roman Catholics for a while, though they've got their own batch of problems, doctrinal and otherwise.

The Bible is extremely important, and is God-inspired and therefore inerrant, but it's not meant to always be taken literally. Often, it is; and just as many doctrinal errors can come from viewing something literal as figurative as the other way around. Scripture, as the Anglican put it, should be interpreted in the light of faith, reason, and tradition. The faith is that the Bible is true and sufficient, that it can be understood, and that those things which remain mysteries to us after full study are not things that are our business. Reason is the idea that the Bible makes sense, and that one interpretation is often far more likely than another, though, going back to faith, it should be accepted that it's okay to disagree on some points. Tradition is respect for what others have believed, and a recognition that if the vast majority of the church (or at least scholars) has believed a certain interpretation, then that interpretation should be given precedence over all others unless there is compelling evidence otherwise. Thus, it is important not to be either too rigid or too loose in one's interpretation of the faith. There are some things which are non-negotiable, but for a large array of minor doctrines, I think it's better to agree to disagree.

Warning!!!

If your mind is anywhere close to being in the gutter, don't click here. If you even know what a gutter is, you probably should steer clear. If you're about four years old and have been raised by Evangelicals, then maybe you can click on it.

Announcement

I have in my possession a bottle of beer that is 23% alcohol by volume. I'm afraid to drink it.

That's Me!



(via Fearsome Pirate)

I'm Upset

No, I'm not angry. I'm upset. Off-kilter. Off-balance. It doesn't happen to me very often, but when it does, it really takes its toll. It's the result of a bad positive feedback loop, where your fear of doing badly at something causes you to do worse and worse at it, all the while you're afraid of doing still worse and also fully aware of what's happening. My Junior year of high school, I had to give a speech before the entire school. I was fine during the speech, but several hours later, in the middle of a horn lesson, I just started shaking and couldn't concentrate at all.

Today, it was during rehearsal. I hadn't eaten much that day, had been playing atrociously at pool, and had done an intense practice session too close to the actual rehearsal, meaning that I'd blown my lip for a while. Thus, while the first 1 1/2 pieces sounded really good, I crashed and burned on the others. I'm the first chair horn, which means that when I mess up, everyone can hear it, of which I was aware. By the end of rehearsal, I was praying for us to get done with the music as fast as possible. Right now, I'm eating a big dinner and drinking a beer. Later, it's time for Swing dancing.

Sheesh.

(sigh)

I just found out via email that a woman at the small house church I've started attending just passed away after a long illness. I only met her briefly, but I've talked with her husband and her son several times. I don't know what to think; I guess it's just kind of depressing. I simply haven't really had to deal with death very much in my life. My Fourth Grade and Eleventh Grade English teachers have both passed away, as have two of my grandparents (one had died before I was born). A girl in my Tenth Grade English class died on the operating table. A family friend, who repaired my French horn when it got damaged, also passed away about a year ago. However, that's just about it, unless you count our dog being euthanized a few years ago. In most cases, I was either too young to really understand or hadn't really been in contact with the person recently.

I guess I don't really know what to think. I have no idea what I'd do if one of my immediate family members or close friends passed away. I've known people who've had loved ones literally gunned down before their very eyes, and I know several people who've lost a parent or grandparent in the past year or two, often suddenly.

Part of me feels guilty. Compared to plenty of people I know, I've hardly lost anyone. I haven't suffered in other ways the same way people I know and have met have. My family's well-off in many regards. By telling myself that with all that I've been given, I'm going to have a lot to do, I assuage some of this guilt, even though it sometimes terrifies me to think how much I'll owe. It's not like I'm going to have to pay for my sins, thanks to Christ, but I want to do as much for God as I can out of love and obedience. And, every time I fail, it just makes me think about how much I must owe. I'm trying to fight that thought, but it's hard.

Prayers for Dan, the woman's husband, would be appreciated, and for her son Damon. Pray that they will understand that she's safe now, and that they can adapt to this new void in their lives. Please pray that they do not lose heart, but can look forward to the day when they're reunited.

Lenten Devotion

My friend Brian Lee asked me to write a devotion for Lent, which appeared on April 6th at Journey Into the Wilderness. Here's what I wrote:

I think that for a lot of us, the hardest of Christ’s commandments is not loving our neighbor or loving God. I mean, we all fail in those to some extent. No one really tries to shirk those, though, since they’re non-threatening, especially in America. If you help someone pick up their dropped books, pray before eating, go to church, or give money to charity, no one will think that you’re weird or make fun of you. In fact, the odds are that you’ll actually be held in higher esteem by those who see you. It’s a win-win situation.

No, I think the commandment hardest for us to follow is the one given in Matthew 28:19-20a, “Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you” (NLT). The reason this is so hard is because the world stands ready to mock us as soon as we start talking about God or being “Jesus Freaks.” Satan cannot stand to be mocked, and so he’ll try and stir up whatever fears we have inside ourselves so that we’ll do whatever is necessary to avoid having them realized. We’re terrified that someone will see our true self and reject it. Any fears we have of loneliness and ostracism are taken advantage of, and we only consider how others perceive us, while forgetting the second half of Matthew 28:20, “And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

When we look at how things get done, there’s rarely much of a pattern, except that utter faith in God’s providence is required. Abraham was ready to sacrifice Isaac. Joshua took Jericho by marching around it and blowing trumpets. Gideon defeated the Midianites by sending most of his army home and equipping the remnant with torches and clay pots. Mary bore Christ. Peter walked on water. Christ never even healed blind men the same way in any recorded instance. Everyone has heard the saying “God works in mysterious ways,” and hardly anyone would disagree, but do we really accept it as being true, or just as a platitude? Thankfully, I haven’t been called to behave as the prophet Ezekiel was commanded, but I still constantly battle with the temptation to hide my light. I lack discipline and trust. What if they make fun of me? What if she says no? What if, what if, what if?

What if my fears are all based on attaching too much importance to a transitory world, and not simply trusting in God to provide what I need? He provided food, mates, and shelter for animals. He provided these things even for men and women who rejected Him. Why should I be afraid of what he will provide for his loyal servants? That’s why Lent is such a blessing: by reflecting on the Passion and possibly giving up some desire or practice, we are able to more fully recognize where we truly stand. We fear because we’re lost, and by seeing clearly that we’re not lost but are actually able to see the path we need to follow, we can then live as fearlessly as the Apostles and Saints did, preaching the Gospel and training others in living according to God’s will.

Notable Quotables

"God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle-aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men strictly accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well-being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club.

"Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's nonthreatening. He's always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without thought of a quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus."

-PJ O'Rourke, Parliament of Whores

Today's Special!

Sign at local Chinese restaurant:
"Free Dumplings With $15.00 Sit-In Purchase Good Friday and Saturday."

Tragic Kingdom

I'm not a Goth (if you've ever met me, this is a "duh!" statement). However, I have to admit that tragedy can be fascinating. Most of my favorite stories are tragedies; The Count of Monte Cristo is probably my favorite book. Ska music, while upbeat in tempo and style, usually has very sad lyrics. I also like some rock along the lines of The Doors and Iggy Pop and classical music by Russian and British composers, such as Marche Slav, 1812 Overture, Procession of the Nobles, The Vanished Army*, etc.

I've also noticed that American rock bands often sound different than foreign ones; there's usually a sort of roughness to the American sound that makes me think of intense emotions, as though they were so caught up that the power of what they were feeling caused a tiny but perceptible loss in technical ability. Everlong by Foo Fighters and No One Knows by Queens of the Stone Age are good examples of this. Sometimes the most powerful part of the song is just a repetitive driving beat, like the musical equivalent of someone who has just been so deeply upset that all he can think to do is the same, simple thing over and over.

I don't know why this is. I don't think my life is a tragedy or anything like it. It occurred to me that it might be that I'm so insulated from harsh realities that I need to fantasize my own tragedies in order to add a little balance. The fact that I tend to prefer happier music, movies, and reading when volunteering in Chester would seem to support this. The ancient Greeks were fond of the idea of catharsis; that the purpose of art was to help us express those emotions we had trouble with on our own. Maybe this is like that. Teams getting pumped up for a game are naturally a little bit afraid, and so they listen to hard-pumping rap and metal. If you listen to folk tunes, they tend to be lively and bright, though the performers may spend most of their time simply tilling fields or herding goats. Heck, this may be why guilt-tripped WASPs feel good about seeing a Congolese or Amerindian group singing native songs.

I guess the catharsis idea makes sense. Of course, it's also 2:30AM, and the idea of running naked through campus doesn't sound utterly insane, either. I'm thinking that I'd better quit running my mouth and get to bed.

I'm Worried

It's interesting to see how God puts us in situations we never could have foreseen, but which, in hindsight, make perfect sense. Right now, I'm meeting with a guy who is very reserved, and comes from a fairly similar church background as mine. He's an Episcopalian, but of the sort that never really had a lot of the stuff sink in. He's also an often-taciturn country boy (he called himself a redneck), who usually listens but occasionally can be extremely blunt, especially when he thinks other people are full of it. He told me this evening that he's glad the two of us are meeting together, because I actually seem to understand where he's coming from on a lot of issues.

You may remember that a few weeks ago, I mentioned that I had some disagreements with others in Navigators, and with much of Evangelicaldom in general, though not rising anywhere close to level of breaking fellowship. Well, my friend's comment made me realize: so far as I know, there's only one other guy in Nav leadership here who even might have the sort of attitude and viewpoint to connect with my friend. This is not a reflection on the quality of the Nav leaders, but rather a realization that I'm one of the very few people with the right mix of attributes to connect with this guy. Not every task requires a hammer or flathead screwdriver; sometimes you need a corkscrew or staple remover (yes, I'm a tool).

For a brief second, after I'd considered how unique my position is, the thought popped into my head that the Navs were lucky to have me. However, about half of a millisecond later, it occurred to me that they're also lucky to have my study co-leader, our director, and, as the thoughts cascaded, every single person involved. It's not that I'm a special and unique person possessing talents not available (or at least much so), but that every person is that way. For this one task, I'm the right fit. Another problem might be better solved if "Joey" or "Beth" were the one confronting it. God doesn't give us more than we can bear. This applies to ministry as well as individuals, I think. For some people, Navigators may be exactly what is needed to help them out. We're a strong organization, but the fact is that we're not perfect. For other people, it might be Impact or Campus Crusade, the United Methodist or Assemblies of God churches, or just a believer on their hall or at work.

This also has implications for a girl I know (no, not a romantic interest or anything like that). She says she's a Christian, she goes to church, and she's big into the Christian subculture (yes, subculture; we ought to be a counterculture). However, she's seeing a guy whom her parents strongly dislike (perhaps with reason and perhaps not; that's not so much my concern) and doesn't really read her Bible or even know what's in it. Most of what she knows she extracts from what a friend of hers says (I don't know the friend very well, but she seems solid, though at a school far away), and she seems to pick and choose from that. I'm also in a unique position to talk to her, but there's a very real risk that if I confront her then I'll be equated with her parents and essentially permanently ignored. What concerns me is firstly that she thinks that she's a Christian but doesn't seem to know all that much about what it means, and secondly that whether or not she does know, she seems to be having some serious trouble living it out. I don't know what to do, but it's looking like I'm going to have to sit her down and have a Talk with her. I don't want to go Jonathan Edwards on her, but I really feel like she needs to be shocked into action with evidence directly from the Bible. Let's hope that it works, and that I don't muff it up (God's will is going to get done somehow, but if it's meant to work through me, I don't want to mess it up due to carelessness).

Oh, My Bad

It has been brought to my attention that I don't have a girlfriend. Upon having my secretary search through my records, this has been confirmed. Meanwhile, I have at least three sets of friends who are currently engaged, and at least one who've recently tied the knot. Of course, my parents were nearly thirty before getting married, so I don't feel as though I'm way past my time (one of my great-grandparents, for instance, fought in the Franco-Prussian war around 1870). My parents seem to be getting nervous or something, as if I'm in danger of never getting married if I don't get cracking.

My problem is that I have some fairly inflexible standards. I hardly ever ask girls out on dates (which I differentiate from hanging out with girls as friends), and even more rarely ask them out again. Some of this is my shyness, but a lot is quite simply that I rarely meet girls I think would be a good long-term match (by which, I mean that I could conceivably see myself marrying them). Sometimes this is because they do things I couldn't tolerate in a spouse, such as getting drunk or cussing. However, it's usually nothing bad, but rather just a recognition that I don't think we'd do well in such a close relationship. The analytical part of me has observed some of the girls I know who I find attractive but not likely to be a good bet for marriage (mostly because of my own defects, and sometimes just because we'd reinforce each other's weaknesses rather than cancelling them out) and I've been learning a lot about what I'm actually looking for in a girl. Girls like JF, PN, RG, LR, EH, and SB* especially have helped me focus on those traits I find most attractive; I'd happily treat any and all of them like sisters (hopefully, I do), though none would be a good match, I don't think.

I'm not sure I believe that everyone has one (and only one) "Mr/Miss Right" out there, but I do think these things shouldn't be rushed. I'm so very grateful to the Christian women I know, who've shown me simply by the way they live different aspects of how I hope the person I marry** will be. Yes, this has been rambling, but at least until further notice, I stand by what I've said.

*This is not a complete list.
**If God wants me to remain single, of course, then His will trumps mine.