Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Evil Questionnaire

1. If you were eat a baby, how would you cook it?
I like smoked turkey a lot, so that would probably be my choice.

2. If you were to exterminate any ethnic group or nationality, what would it be?
As much as the French and Palestinians try and provoke sometimes, I'm going to have to say "Wahoos."

3. What is the best way to punish a disobedient spouse?
What, they have to be disobedient first?

4. After conquering your enemies, do you put their women and children to the sword first or burn their crops and salt the earth first?
Burn the crops and salt the earth. What, like I'm going to ruin a countryside without temporary slaves?

5. Favorite torture device/method:
Having girls flirt with guys and then say "maybe" when asked out. My enemies will beg for death.

6. Most evil person I admire:
I was always a fan of the Man With No Name from the "Dollars" trilogy.

7. Most evil thing I've laughed at:
Dead Baby jokes.

8. Most evil thing I've tried to logically justify:
Atheism. It didn't work so well.

9. Favorite dictator responsible for the deaths of > 1 million people.
Stalin. The quote "quantity has a quality all of its own" in reference to his using his people as cannon fodder pushed him past Cyrus the Great of Persia.

10. Which secret police would you most like to join: The KGB, Gestapo, Stasi, Cong Ang, or Santebal?
Stasi. All the benefits of Sovietism without having to live in Russia!

11. A Jew, an African-American, an Irishman, a kindergartener, an Untouchable, and a battered woman are stuck with you on a desert island. Who do you eat first?
What kind of batter is the woman covered in?

12. If you were selling narcotics on an elementary school playground, would you sell cocaine or meth?
Cocaine. If the meth pipes break, the shards could hurt someone!

13. Which is a more satisfying sound: the crunch of a puppy's skull under your wheels, or his yelps as he bursts into flames?
I'm a big fan of crunches, actually.

(via Fearsome Pirate)

DISCLAIMER: Don't take this seriously. If it were meant to be taken seriously, I would've put "WVU fans" or "Pitt fans" in response to the second question.

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