Friday, July 25, 2003
You can have vanilla, but not chocolate. You can have food but never eat. You could have a million dollars and still be poor because you can't have any money. You could go to Longwood College but not Virginia Tech, or you could go to Messiah College but not Eastern University. You could be Russian or Greek but not Orthodox. You can pee and poop but never wipe. You can have beer, but never wine. You could go to middle school but never graduate. You could be part of a rabble but not a mob. You could be a missionary but not a priest, or a volunteer but not an intern. You could live in the ghetto but not the slums. If you went to Minnesota, you could go to Minneapolis but not St. Paul. You could go to Tennessee, but never Kentucky. You could sleep, but if you did you could never wake. You can be immortal, but you could still be killed. You could be immoral but still sinless. You could see an operetta, but not the Mikado. You could listen to Beethoven, but not Mozart. You could play cello, but not violin, even though you couldn't use strings. No matter how much self-esteem you have, you could never have any confidence, even though you could be a winner but never a loser. You could visit Heddle or Tepper, but never Krempasky or Domenech. You could use Blogger, but not Movable Type. Dude, you could get a Dell, but you couldn't have the monitor or keyboard. Not only could you never check out any time you like, but you could never leave (not that you could have any of that 1969 vintage, anyway). You're free to puff tobacco or weed, even though you might get arrested (they couldn't put you in jail, however). You could have walls and a door, but no windows.
If you figure this out, you can leave a message in the comments, but you can't send me an email. Don't spoil it for others; make your proof difficult.