Thursday, March 07, 2002

It's nice when you get a mental breakthrough, and realize that you're actually a more mature person for it.

I'd met a girl in one of my classes last semester that I really liked. She was (is, actually) smart, pretty, fun to be around, and not self-centered or overly-ambitious. Obviously, I had a huge crush on her, though I did my best to hide it, especially since I knew she was a Senior (I was a Sophomore at the time) and was graduating a semester early. Nonetheless, we became friends, and since she lived near me at home, we hung out over Christmas Break. Well, we were talking, and I asked her if she was twenty-one. She said that she was twenty-three (I'm nineteen). The feeling of someone thrusting a rusty, serrated knife into your heart, twisting it, and pulling out your still-beating heart on a skewer was what it was like. The worst part was that she didn't even know about it. Well, in any case, my heart actually physically ached. We hung out a few days ago, too, since I'm on Spring Break, and had a good time. Finally, it occurred to me that pining away on my crush, I'd neglected the fact that I was friends with a really cool person. I had an excellent time being with her, and I got to do things I probably never would've done otherwise. I feel a little ashamed for being so self-centered before, but I'm glad that I realized what a cool friend I have before I did something dumb which might've hurt our friendship. I'm sure most people have realized this long ago, but I just thought I'd share it.

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